Where Everybody Knows My Name

Everyone should have a place to hang out, and in this digital age, people are spending more and more of their time hanging out online. What seemed inconceivable just a few years ago is now the norm. Many, if not most, people with computers and online access have a presence on not just one, but multiple social networking sites.

So, where do I hang out?  For keeping up with friends, family and former students, I visit Facebook every day. I'm sensing some pressure to join Twitter, but so far, have resisted that one.  I may get sucked in there one day just to keep up with my kids, but not yet. I haven't been able to figure out the attraction of tweeting. Maybe it has something to do with my not having a smart phone or being able to text at the speed of light.

It is on forums that I have met and made friendships with people all over the world who share a common interest. I hang out at the Aussie Ghosts forum, where we have been lucky enough to attract a really sweet group of people. Jemm, one of our moderators, recently put together this composite image of some of our active members that I think is really cool and I thought I would share it with you. 

Great job, Jemm.

Consume. Produce. Share

The beauty of the Internet is the way you stumble serendipitously upon stuff that you didn't know was out there, but that speaks to who you are and where you are. This presentation by Clay Shirky at Web 2.0 had me nodding my head in agreement, because his explanation for the media and how it has changed and is changing and we are participating in that change explains why I blog, why many people blog and join forums, edit articles on Wikipedia, set up pages on Facebook or MySpace and build virtual homes in Second Life. The video is about 15 minutes long, but it's an enlightening and entertaining 15 minutes. It's not about the paranormal, but it is about why people like me create blogs like this one on a variety of topics. We are no longer content to WATCH; we want to participate, to move from consumption to producing and sharing.
Click on the title of this post to go to Clay Shirky's website.

Badd Apple Speaks

It has come to Badd Apple's attention that a SMALL group of people are setting themselves up as a paranormal watchdog group. They have a new website, where they have already "rated" several sites. Personally, I have a problem with one thing about this website. I'm not opposed to what they are doing, because anyone has the right to set up a website and to state their preferences and give opinions. I do it all the time! But, what I'm concerned about is that people will think, because of the name they have selected for themselves, that this group is a true watchdog group and it is not. The very nature of a watchdog group is that it is separate from the system that that it is watchdogging over. The definition of a watchdog from www.answers.com

A dog trained to guard people or property.
One who serves as a guardian or protector against waste, loss, or illegal practices.

The people behind this effort are members of forums, have owned forums and websites, so they know their way around the paranormal world of the Internet. This does give them some insight, but it also makes them insiders, not outsiders, and as such do not, in my mind, fit the term watchdog. Some may find me a bit picky and maybe even pig-headed on this topic, but I can be a bit of a stickler about names. I think words matter, even if I don't always get them right the first time!

Anybody can set up a website with any available name.
What's in a name? In this case, the wrong message.

By that, I mean their name seems to say something different from what they are, which is a way to rate websites, as well as other things (movies, books, etc.). I agree with them that the current method for rating websites really doesn't work. The current system consists of sites where owners and members vote for their own sites in a ridiculous daily duel of endurance. The numbers are meaningless. I don't know all the good forums and paranormal websites out there. I certainly don't know enough to rate them. I don't know that this group is more qualified to judge than you or I. What I do believe is that your or my opinion may be different from the ones offered at this or any other watchdog/rating site, so keep that in mind. Don't take any ratings or rankings too much to heart. The other problem I have with this group is that others may feel they need to curry favor with this group in order to get a good rating. I'm not saying this is their intent, but nobody wants their site to get bad publicity.

My advice? If you visit this paranormal watchdog site or any others that might crop up, bear in mind that these people are "insiders" and not true "watchdogs." The only way you can get a truly impartial rating is to visit the sites for yourself. Yeah, I know, that can be time consuming, so you'll be tempted to let them do the work for you. It's your choice. It's one way to go about it.

YOU are the only one who can judge a website or forum discussion site and judge whether it fits your interest or style. This group may provide some useful information, but in the end you're on your own to make the final and most important rating, yours. And that's a good thing, because you are smart, you are worthy, and doggonit, Badd Apple likes you.

Click on the title of this post to visit the watchdogs!

To Forum or Not To Forum

Whether 'tis wiser to share with strangers on the web or stick to telling your ghost stories to friends and family at home.

While studies show that at least half of us believe in ghosts, there are not many people in my experience who want to talk about them, and most people are hesitant to open up about their experiences in front of co-workers, for example, because they don't want to be ridiculed behind their backs or not taken seriously in other areas of their lives. There are probably many people out there who were like me for years, privately interested in the subject, but with no one to talk to about it.

If you go into a forum with clear vision and reasonable expectations, it can be fun and informative, but don't expect too much. Forums are made up of people and we all know what people are like!

When I first joined a ghost topic forum, it was fun, but frustrating, because most members were unquestioning believers, downright starry-eyed, and I was a questioning believer looking for proof. It occasionally became a collision of contrasting views, between faith and science, as though the two views were irreconcilable. I finally found another group that leaned more toward analysis, but even there tempers sometimes flared between strong personalities and there was pressure to constantly vote for the site so that it could get noticed and get awards (which are totally made up, meaningless, and given out en masse by other groups also wanting to get their names noticed and move up in the lists).

Forums allow you to express yourself as anonymously as you wish. You make up a username. You can even put out a sexy photo of an elf or fairy princess or a crazy kitty that looks nothing like you, so it's a little like playing dress up and make believe. This is also a drawback, because you have no idea what anyone is really like, and it takes a while to get to know people through their posts, and even then you can't tell if they are being sincere or not. Most forums allow for PMing (Private Messaging) so the same person who is being sweet to you in the public thread may be saying nasty stuff behind your back. Remind you of high school?

Forums are quick to welcome new faces, so you are assured a friendly, even effusive welcome, and it can be nice to experience the friendliness of near strangers after a rough day at work or when you are feeling under-appreciated by your family. It's amazing how much you can have in common with people halfway around the world from you. I've seen genuine friendships form, but I've also experienced cattiness and that whole clique thing that was so annoying in high school.

Forums, especially about paranormal topics, such as ghosts, attract all kinds, from the skeptical to the gullible, from the sane to the emotionally unstable, from those who take it much too seriously to those who join to heckle. Forums are about expressing opinions, and you know how people are about their opinions. If you are the kind of person who has to be agreed with, don't join a forum. Be a bore around the water fountain at work or the dinner table at home. Don't take it online. If you are open-minded and can accept that others are not going to agree with you without getting upset or doing a Ruby, then you may do okay, unless of course, you run into a Ruby.

My advice? Choose your forum carefully and keep some emotional distance. Observe for a while; read what others post; see if the kinds of topics covered fit your areas of interest and if the opinions posted reflect intelligence, respect and common sense on the part of the community members. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve or believe that people on the web are any different that the people in your real world. Practice the Golden Rule and hope that others will do so, and remember to be kind even to those who are not kind to you. (Easier to advise than to practice, I know!) And you aren't joining a cult or a religion, so if the forum proves not to be a good fit, it's easy to move out and move on to something else. You could even try blogging!

Final word: Beware of sharing personal information. The Internet is a public place. Nothing is private once it has been put online.